Ice Cream, I Scream

I hate that b**ch on my fridge! Of course she wouldn’t eat that Heath Bar Crunch ice cream right out of the carton like I just did. Nor would she drink a little too much wine while camping this weekend. (She would have been able to sleep just fine without it, too, though that’s not why I did it.)

And she would have exercised today the way she was supposed to.

I’m wondering if a better tack would be to embrace my flaws, tummy-inner-tube-and-all and learn to love myself the way I am. If that were the case, I would be okay with the fact that just as I start making progress, I come to a screeching halt and make up for any losses with some gains? Anyone who gives credence to psycho-babble would just know that I must have some deep-seated issues and I’m sabotaging my successes. But anyone who does not give said credence would think that I just enjoy a good creamy toffee/carmel/vanilla smoothness the way my Lab loves water. Who can say no to the deliciousness of such a decadent and conveniently located dessert?

I need to take the picture down. At first I looked at this woman and thought, “Maybe she can teach me something.” Something along the lines of moderation, and sometimes denial. “Don’t eat that! You don’t need that!” But she’s the kind of person who doesn’t crave sweets and doesn’t even eat them. She can stand at a table with birthday cake next to it and say, “No, thanks.”

Frankly, I don’t know what she’s really like because she is not me. She can’t talk – and certainly didn’t talk me out of that ice cream! And if we were in an elevator, stuck between floors, would she be able to keep me from saving the melting ice cream from my grocery bag, or would I have her eating along with me? Because, while she may not be aware, there is more satisfaction in indulgence than in denial.

At least until I have to put on a bathing suit.

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Nachos As Diet Food

I just ate some nachos. I wondered if the skinny fit-girl would eat them, but decided that she was a guest in my house, she would be polite enough to have a couple. You know, not to be rude.

Whatever makes me sleep at night. Right?

It Is What It Is

I have been thinking about this blog. It was intended as an exercise log/weight loss journal, instead, it kept reminding me of my failure. I had to laugh at the end of last week, after a very (VERY!) busy couple of weeks, I weighed more than when I started this blog. Who starts a weight-gain blog? I thought about quitting and when the scale hit my highest mark yet; I had finally had enough.

Just as I was about to throw out that “Q” word, I found a picture in the Athleta catalog of a very fit woman running on the beach. It wasn’t sexy or anything, it was just a person who I identified with as being Fit. Healthy. Active. A Role Model. I tore out the page and put her on my fridge. And don’t you know – I put a caption on the picture:

“Would she eat that?”

Every time I enter the kitchen foraging for food now, I look at her and think that she wouldn’t dare gorge herself on junk food (no, really, I don’t gorge myself, per se, but you get what I’m saying here.) I’ve been minding what I’m eating because of it and it’s working.

Combine that with an attack on the other end of things. I read an article about someone who went to what was essentially a fat fit camp. It inspired me to get a jump on things and I started by doing a bunch of stuff all at once. I’ve been walking my dog at least once a day, two if he’s lucky, and found the miracle of circuit training. I found a cool site that had a good circuit on it and did that. The next day I did intervals on my treadmill. The next day (yesterday) I did another day of circuits and today I ran for 20-minutes. Granted, today’s run wasn’t much to write home about, but it was more than I felt like and it was made up, more-or-less of intervals, also.

I’ve lost 4-pounds.

And I don’t feel like quitting, either. I feel like keeping it up. Not a failure afterall, but a step in the right direction.

Motivation

It really is about motivation, isn’t it?

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal today about a study where people received phone calls to encourage them to exercise and it actually got them to move more. I found it interesting and wanted someone to call me, too. Instead, I had another cup of coffee and jumped on my computer.

Ultimately, as I was tinkering around, I decided that I needed to just jump on the treadmill and go for a little bit – even though I don’t feel like it. And then, I saw my daily quote deposited in my inbox from Runner’s World:

Running has the power to change your life. It will make you fitter, healthier, even happier.

Selene Yeager, “Let’s Get Started,” May 2010 issue of Runner’s World

And off I go…

The Treadmill

I didn’t lose any weight this week. Not two easy, measly pounds. Apparently just wanting it to go away doesn’t work. I also realized that I’m very gung-ho and active at the beginning of the week and slothful at the end of the week. Perhaps consistency would take me places that I want to go.

So, because I’ve been battling a dilemma here between running and walking my dog, I, in a moment of weakness (or gung-ho’d-ness) looked on Craig’s List for a treadmill. I found one and went to scope it out. I even managed to score the thing for FREE. I love FREE, it’s the best price ever! Subsequently, I masterminded a delivery scheme and I’m incredibly grateful to my husband and parents for getting it for me while I was at work.

I didn’t acquire it to hang clothes, either. I love running on treadmills and it’s out on our back deck in the midst of the trees so I can feel as though I’m running in nature. I swear I’m going to use it!

I ran on it today for the first time. I must be a total idiot because I keep having these realizations about things that I do all the time as if there is some surprise in store for me and the world is not really flat. I ran for 25 minutes and was quite shocked at how far in distance I ran. (Not very!) But as much as it was an eye-opener, it was fun, too. I played with the speed up and down depending on how I was feeling and did a few intervals. I think this is going to be great.

After I ran, I got down on the floor and did some push ups and sit ups and stretched. While I was down there, my cat bit me in the cheek. That was weird.

I supposed that staying in tune with what I’m doing is better than nothing. And even if I’m not seeing progress on the scale right now, I’m getting more active in the process. I have to start somewhere, don’t I?

Small Goals and Accomplishments

I ran today without my dog this time. It didn’t feel as good as I would have liked. Perhaps I’ve just been taking it easy for too long. I ran, though. I did my 3-mile loop and I’m going to check it today on my odometer to see if it actually is 3-miles as I think it is. Watch, I’ve probably been running a mile-and-a-half this whole time.

I’m setting my sights low right now. I’d like to lose two-pounds. Two measly little pounds. I figure once I hit that goal, I’ll have succeeded and can tackle my next one. Another thing that I was thinking was that I’d like to run 100 miles before my next birthday. That’s only like 5-miles a week, but if I can accomplish that, it means that I’ve been exercising regularly by then and I’d be proud.

Let’s hear it for baby steps!

Dog Run Day

I ran with my dog today. It’s not nearly as much fun as running alone, but there is considerably less guilt. I ran with him right after dropping off my daughter at school and it worked out well. I would have to say that the worst part of running with him is running while carrying his little bag of poop.

The best part of running is the bit during the 2nd half when I’m in my groove, feeling fantastic like I could go on forever – but don’t have to. My dog even gets into a groove. Then, the nearly best part is when he’s super mellow afterwards.

I lifted my light weights today, and dropped down to do some pushups and sit-ups, which I topped off with some crunches. That wasn’t so bad, now was it? No. It wasn’t.